| I feel that the route on knowing and accepting Jesus as my first priority really difficult and painful.
In the past, I gave up family, friends, leisure, etc. to chase my dream--research. I wanna publish papers in order to build up a better personal profile in particular research area, so that I can explore/achieve more in terms of job opportunties. Although i didnt pay much focus on chasing first class honour (depends la~), i really lost many things during this process.
This honour let me met mouse embryonic stem cells in my M. Phil study. In the beginning of my research, I could differentiate the cells into those lovely beating heart cells, it's really a nice scenery for cell biology researchers, since we seldom to see the dynamics of cells under microscope. I felt I got the ability to manipulate life, but after some period, when I looked at those cells again, suddenly what I did was very rubbish, when compare to God's work.....the beating heart in my body. At that time, I believe God is the creator of this world.
Many friends brought me to church, and started to gain knowledge on this religious. One of the core element is---i need to give up myself, or destory the old one, and then let God to be my ruler, following Jesus should be the most important things. These.....contradict my "old" plan. Even up to now, I still treat research as very important thing in my life.
I was shocked when I read "萬 物 的 結 局 近 了 ． 所 以 你 們 要 謹 慎 自 守 、 儆 醒 禱 告 。<彼前 4:7>". This was written in 2000 years ago, it indicated we come to the end much closer already. If I was still doing confocal microscopy in midnight, or changing culture medium in Sunday when God comes to this world again, 我:覺得好樣衰. In the coming months, I need to decide go for PhD or not, and i believe the decision will be greatly interfered by God. I really want to choose a route that God likes. Does God like me to do reseach crazily in FT lab in coming 3 years?.....
ai....I had planned a lot for my future previously, but now....all need to think again. I feel painful during this transition process. I know what i should do, but dont know how to do....
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